“The wisdom that we need to solve our problems lies encoded in the depths of our unconscious minds, but it must be evoked by elders who evoke our potential. Without realized models to evoke our archetypal depths we are literally lost in the world. Throughout history, elders have served as beloved pathfinders, beckoning us to enter the province of old age in anticipation of growing strength and usefulness to society.”
Joan Halifax, Anthropologist
Thanks to Kori for the quote. I like that, “realized models”. My mind has been in a whirl this week. I have a foot in both the past that I am bidding farewell to and the future, which beckons. My awareness of my potential as an elder is deepening as I get closer to the ceremony I am planning for myself at the end of April. When I first started thinking about a ceremony for myself I was hoping it would help me accept the changes that were happening to me. Now, I can see that I have been in the process for two years of building a bridge to that new me and I am ready to cross over.
Traditionally, this ceremony is called a croning ceremony but I find myself still reluctant, after two years of thinking about it, to use a word that carries such negative connotations in our society. I could try to educate those around me as to the historical value of the term, however, I am already outside of my comfort zone by declaring I have arrived at a new and developing sense of self embodied as elder/sage/wisewoman/crone. I want a word that I and other women will want to embrace and that encourages us to move forward into the profound transformation that aging can offer. The word I choose is wise woman. When I turned 40, I created a collage for myself with these words at the center.
“A Wise Woman, moving into her maturity, her ripeness, will see that movement as an achievement. The mature woman is one whose inner self radiates joy, beauty, appreciation and kindness – her mind probes for the meaning behind her experience and each passing year brings her that much closer to the essence of God and Life. Every year brings more to her – more life, more wonder, more experience.”
I had the courage to claim the words wise woman as a destination I wished to reach way back then. It feels arrogant to claim the possible achievement of being wise but if I don’t proclaim it as my path and goal then how could I possibly arrive there?
Not every woman will choose this path. Not every woman will be prepared or interested in the challenges of the journey. But for those, like me, who do enter the transformational cocoon, willing to be delivered as a new form of self, you may find yourself thinking about what word best captures this essence. I have even gone so far as to envision this person I am becoming – I see what she looks like and she has told me her name. I can call on her whenever I stumble and she whispers in my ear that life isn’t fully lived until I complete the third phase. I trust her as she leads me backward to some primitive archetypal depth as described in the quote, as well as forward into the mystery.
Stephen and I included in our wedding vows this phrase. “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be – the last of life for which the first is made.”
At the time this sounded so romantic to us. I now see that the purpose of growing old is to come to a completion. And so, with my soon to be experienced ceremony, I welcome the completion phase of life.
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