“The transformation to Wise Woman is not attained through the mind – it’s attained through surrender, authenticity, forgiveness, faith, honesty, acceptance, vulnerability, humility, willingness and non-judgment.”
Marianne Williamson
Every once in a while I see I’ve taken a great leap in my knowledge of who I am and I have a clear and precise sense of that “grand design” I spoke of in the recent post “Story of Acceptance”.
This week I’ve had a deep understanding come over me regarding a personal change I knew I had to make. It started four years ago when I quit my clothing design business. I was psychologically, spiritually and artistically DONE! It created great havoc as we didn’t have a way to support ourselves so we started exploring different business avenues and made it through quite a few failures before we landed on a working model that could sustain our lives.
The guiding principle in this exploration was my inner need to change. I didn’t know exactly why or how. All I knew for sure was I desperately wanted a change. I just kept moving forward in surrender and trusted that what I needed to know would be revealed. In “Wise Woman’s Way” Berta Parrish reminds me “for any transition to be a psychological and spiritual passage, one must consciously choose the adventure, not merely endure it.” I chose the adventure.
Balancing our masculine and feminine aspects is considered a task of eldering. This is one of the ways we find and reclaim our authentic selves. I had identified with masculine attributes after my divorce at 30 in order to make my way in the world. These masculine energies served me well in the outer world where I struggled for success, money, possessions and power. But then came the disillusionment and a sense of something missing.
What I see now was my souls longing to embrace my feminine side and, in order to do that, I needed to put down the mantle of “the woman who makes things happen”. I needed to enter the flow and quit trying to push life around. It was hard to quit doing this as I was quite good at it but I was also exhausted! I had relegated my softer side to the dungeon as I used my middle years to make a mark and it was now time to descend the stairs and reclaim that part of myself.
This realization has made me more able and willing to trust the unfolding that is happening. How could I have known 4 years ago that listening to the inner urging for change would help prepare me for the aging journey?
Have you thought of the two sides of yourself and how they operate in your psyche? Are there any adjustments you sense are needed as you prepare for the third phase of life where owning your masculine and feminine attributes brings you closer to wholeness?
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