“Aging is for soul making. Aging is for becoming the magnificent human spirit. It is a spiritual enterprise, a godly thing.”
I have been pondering Kori’s comments all week and reflecting on the direction I want to take the conversation. First of all, I absolutely agree we are a product of a culture that is dominated by the white patriarchy and that we have all bought into the “mass culture’s standards”. It is indeed the reason for the our discussions which, when approached with curiosity and a willingness to learn from our experience, can lead directly to the authenticity that Kori has discovered. Where I take issue, I guess, is the importance I place on being willing to perceive the slights and resulting wounds that have been visited on us by virtue of being raised in this culture.
I expect to fully embrace the third phase but not without consciously recognizing what is lost to me and the excess baggage I carry because of the hurdles the larger society has erected to honoring myself in this new place.
Here are some comforting thoughts I pulled from Marian Van Eyk McCain’s book, Elderwoman. “The sense of self worth a woman feels has been driven for so many years by how she looks that when the aging process demands that she scrutinize her value, she begins to see the power the outer shell has had in her life. The fading of our beauty, as it is defined by our popular culture, can be a very large issue for many of us. Though we may have grumbled at times about being “just a sex object,” there is an ancient, instinctual part of us that enjoys the mating dance and feels a sense of desolation when we notice men not responding to us in the ways we are used to. Within us all, at forty, fifty (and even at 60), still lives that little girl who wants to enjoy her reflection in the mirror and longs to be told she is pretty. This is a little death – one of many that pulls us away from our ego identification.”
It is my observation that in our culture we often run away from our pain rather than meet it with an attitude of inquiry into its message. All through this process I have known that simply allowing each new piece of awareness to shape me, would lead to the deep and profound transformation I am seeking. I need not rush the process and, in fact, sense it is detrimental to do so. I am giving this shift from adult to elder a lot of my time, energy and attention, ferreting out all inner and outer messages that will not serve me as I move into this new dimension.
I am including here a picture and a promise. A promise of undiscovered beauty in our next developmental life phase - just like we see all around us in the cycles of life reflected in nature. Take some time today to recognizes the invisible beauty around us and in us. Thank you Marlene for the image.
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